Day Thirty-Five
The Fiercer the Battle Rages, the More Binah Emanates
The greater the intensity of the Negative Impulse’s onslaught, the harder one must resist. This, however, is not cause to despair but reason to celebrate, for the more intensely a person battles, the more Binah (Divine Enlightenment) casts its radiance upon both him and the entire world! More, his courageous effort opens new vistas of freedom and purpose within his soul. This can be compared to a woman experiencing severe labor pains while giving birth. The pain she endures only increases her love for the ultimate, precious outcome; and rather than associating the infant with her suffering, she loves him like the apple of her eye. So too, the more our distress, the greater does Binah increase the flow of holiness to “rectify every flaw.”
Mar Ukva was a Ba’al Teshuvah (Penitent)
Consider the example of Mar Ukva, the famed Av Beis Din (Head of the Rabbinic Court) in Bavel in Talmudic times. He is known variously as, “Rav Nosson, the Sparkling One” and “The one who shines like Moshe Rabeinu.” Unlike Moshe Rabeinu, Mar Ukva was a penitent. Indeed, his very Teshuvah is what caused him to attain the same unimaginable heights similar to Moshe himself! Rashi relates the story in his commentary to Sanhendrin 32b:
I found in an Hagaddic text that Mar Ukva was a penitent. He once beheld a certain woman and longed for her so intensely that he fell ill. She was married. Once, she needed to borrow money from him, and out of desperation she flirted with him. He, however, overcame his Negative Impulse, and she departed in peace. Subsequently, he was healed, and when he would venture out in public, a Heavenly radiance shone upon his head.
What was the secret of the “Heavenly Radiance that shone upon his head?” His intense battle with the Negative Impulse granted him access to the highest realm of Binah (Divine Enlightenment). The Divine Light of Binah illuminated upon Mar Ukva! When he ventured in public it’s magnitude was so powerful that everyone was able to see it, as clear as the radiance that illuminated the countenance of Moshe Rabenu!
Let Joy Be Your Path
The Ramak gives us masterful guidance on the successful path to self-rectification: When engaging in Teshuvah Elyonah (Supernal Repentance), it does not serve our best interest to reflect on our base nature or our transgressions. If we do so, the Negative Impulse will invade our minds to bring us to utter despair. This is why the Ramak does not mention the concept of “regret,” which is one of the essential elements of “conventional” Teshuvah. Once a person initiates the process of Teshuvah Elyonah, yearning not just to improve oneself; but on a more basic level, to connect to HaShem and transform himself at his holy root – no further remorse is required.
Still, a person must proceed with great caution, lest the Negative Impulse fling poisonous darts at him that fill one’s heart with hopelessness. Indeed, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter z”l, writes (Ohr Yisrael, Letter Six): “Despair is the most dangerous of all illnesses!”
In part four of the Introduction, we mentioned Rabbi Yose’s revelation that Teshuvah Elyonah must be performed “with joy, and no sadness whatsoever.” Therefore, the Ramak advises us to proceed on the goodly path of Teshuvah Elyonah. Specifically, to reflect on connecting to the Radiance of Binah, for it is within that Light's holy province that lies the root of our souls. When we do so, Binah’s light shines forth and “rectifies every flaw.” Consequently, all the “shadows” of our past are transformed to light!
