E Mussar - Sabedoria para o Crescimento Pessoal: SF - How to Deal With 'Difficult People'

segunda-feira, 30 de novembro de 2020

SF - How to Deal With 'Difficult People'

"You have contended with your opponents, Esav and Lavan, and you defeated them" (cf Bereisheit 32:29). This verse seems counterintuitive. Lavan subjugated Yaacov Avinu to work for twenty years as "wages" for his two wives. Esav's wrath forced Yaacov to flee from him for many years. Ultimately, Yaacov sent Esav a fortune in gifts and bowed down to him seven times. In light of Yaacov's resignation and acquiescence to his archenemies, how can we say that he overcame Esav and Lavan? Yaacov Avinu knew that if he overpowered Esav and Lavan, they would always seek to take revenge against him. Therefore, Yaacov humbled himself to his enemies to give them the perception that they overcame him. Now that "they gained the upper hand" over Yaacov, their burning hatred against Yaacov subsided. Yaacov's wise humility laid the groundwork to bring his enemies to peace.

The ultimate defeat over one's enemy comes by neutralizing their animosity by humbling yourself to them and making peace.

Use wisdom to overcome difficult people and relate to them with humility. In turn, they will appease their malice towards you, and peace will prevail.

(Based on the commentary of Rav Aaron Bakst)