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The Gentle Approach \ King David
After David HaMelech fell into sin with Bat Shevah, Natan the Prophet came and spoke with him metaphorically. He presented the following scenario for the king's judgment.
The Prophet conveyed that there was a rich man who possessed many flocks and abundant herds, and a poor man who had just one sheep. The poor man cared for his sheep as if it was his very daughter. A traveler took residence in the house of the wealthy man. Instead of taking from his own plentiful resources, the wealthy man stole away the lone sheep of the pauper.
King David’s heart was filled with indignant wrath and he ordered, “Put him to death!”
The implication of the parable is that King David is comparable to the rich man, Oriyah, the husband of Bat Sheva is likened to the poor man, and Bat Shevah is the singular sheep, beloved to the poor man.
Why did the Prophet speak to King David allegorically? Wouldn’t it be preferable for him to speak truthfully to King David and confront him regarding his lack of discretion?
We learn a profound lesson from the soft approach of Natan the Prophet. Even a man on the eminent caliber of King David, is unable to receive direct rebuke. His shame and embarrassment will render him defensive and unreceptive to his reprover.
Let us internalize this powerful moral lesson and restrain ourselves from delivering unfiltered admonishment to a person who acted inappropriately.
Take the gentle method and relate to your friend with sensitivity and tact. He will have a chance to respond with honesty and admit to the error of his ways.
The soft approach is the best way to uplift your friend and return him to the path of goodness, decency, and respect.
(Based on the commentary of R' B.Z. Miller)
